Kiara Advani since being a little girl she had wanted more than anything to be an actress. She needed to move to Mumbai from her town of Lucknow to fulfill this dream but it had still not happened.
Yet as she trudged home in the fading heat of a summer day she felt a burgeoning hope in her breast.
For the last two years she had been secretly scrimping and saving enough money to make the move to Mumbai. She had to do it secretly because her boyfriend Kanna was a useless, although talented, writer who wasted all their money. Time and again she had been forced to spend her savings to bail them both out of some financial difficulty he had embroiled them in but at last she had enough money saved up to fulfill her dream.
Kanna was lazy and petulant. He hardly worked and Kiara had to support him with the little money she earned as a waitress at a coffee shop and the weekend shifts she put in at a bottle factory. She loved Kanna and he was gorgeous but Kiara needed more than a pretty face or an exciting lover. She needed a man who would help out financially and support her emotionally.
Kiara ignored the whistling and cat-calling men on the street trying to get her attention. As they called out to her about how beautiful she was she contemplated telling Kanna to move out of their apartment. He had not contributed to paying rent in months.
Suman, their landlord, liked Kiara. He always flirted with her even though he was old enough to be her father. Maybe he would help her out somehow. Kiara's own father was no help. He had remarried and started a new family after her mother died. Since then he never called or written and she had given up trying. Essentially Kiara was without a family.
Kiara's anger toward Kanna grew fierce as she walked on sore feet past the garage where her scooter sat waiting to be repaired. Kanna had gotten drunk and crashed it and Kiara had to choose either to pay for the repairs or postpone her journey. It sat forlorn in a locked compound behind the garage... fueling her frustration.
As she reached her block she saw reminders of all the money Kanna owed.
There was Dr. Dhatu, the man who had given Kanna antibiotics last winter and who had still not been paid for his medicine or time. Kiara waved sheepishly and the older man nodded perfunctorily, clearly not happy with the debt still pending.
There was Ilya Shamrayev, the building maintenance man who helped Kiara fix an earlier breakdown of the scooter. She owed him money for the parts. He wasn't upset at all though. Ilya had a crush on Kiara and thought she was going to be famous one day. He had come to see her in an amateur production last year and raved about it.
Kanna had missed the play. The whole week-long run of it.
Kiara gave Ilya a hug and the big man squeezed her hard and kissed both her cheeks. His warm lips lingered on her skin a bit too long for comfort but she pretended to like it and smiled sweetly at him.
Then just as she was saying goodbye to Ilya, Madhukhar came out of their building. Madhukhar was a teacher and Kiara owed him money as well. He had helped her learn English, etiquette and poise in order to play a high class woman in the play. He loved Kiara but she abhorred his boring and constant complaints about his poverty. She owed him a lot of money from various lessons he had given her.
Madhukhar saw her being kissed by Ilya and his face lit up.
"Hello Kiara!" He cried out in his false good cheer. "Not such a bad day huh?" He came down the steps of the building and wrapped himself around her in a hug that was more a dry hump. His mouth found hers and he kissed her deeply as she pressed her lips tightly together to resist his hesitantly invading tongue.
"Not a bad day. But I'm pretty beat." She said as Madhukhar squeezed her. "They ran me ragged at work today."
"I bet. It could be worse though. You could be as poor as me. Who respects a teacher? No-one? We don't matter unless someone's horrible kid flunks a class. Then we are the scourge of the land!"
"I bet none of your kids flunk Madhukar. You're too great a teacher."
Momentarily stunning Madhukhar with her rare compliment Kiara took the opportunity to wrench herself from his grasp and flee up the stairs. "I have to go in. Have a wonderful evening gentlemen."
In the dark of the stairs she ran up the three flights to her own door and rushed inside to avoid any other debtors seeing her.
And she came face to face with Suman, the landlord.
"Hello Kiara." He said.
Anxiety bloomed in the pit of her stomach. Suman never came inside the apartment. He looked nervous and guilty and so did Kanna. Something bad was happening here.
"Hello Suman, what a surprise." Kiara hugged him and kissed his cheeks but his back was less kind than usual.
"I was just having a talk with Kanna, but I must be off. I'll see you later though, I hope. Shall we say eight Kanna?"
"Yes, fine." Kanna was sulking and Kiara grew worried.
Suman left and Kiara stared at her lover watching his behavior and seeing shame and fear in every line of his body. Something very bad was happening.
"What?" Kanna snarled when he noticed Kiara staring at him.
"Was he here for this month's rent?"
"Yes. And last months."
"What? I left that on the mantel last month. It was right there. All of it! Why didn't you give it to him?"
'For God's sake Kiara I don't know what happened to it. You should have given it to him personally."
"So this is my fault? All that money disappears and I'm to blame? "
Kanna avoided her gaze.
"Look I know you took it. There are only two of us here. No-one visits because you are such a downer, so you tell me... who took it?'
"I did." He mumbled.
"For what? We need a place to live!" she tried not to scream. Any time she got emotional Kanna accused her of being a dramatic actress and refused to accept that she might just be a person entitled to be angry.
"I needed some supplies..." He murmured. "Look, I found a way to pacify Suman. He will make an exchange for the rent, both months.
"Really?" Is he going to buy your book when it comes out?" she didn't add "Whenever that is." It was too early to escalate things and she was tired of fighting day after day.
"Y'know he really likes you."
"Sure, I'm nice to him and I pay my rent on time. Usually!"
"No. I mean he finds you attractive."
"So what. Lots of men do. I can't help it. So now you're jealous of an old man?"
"So he's old. He is pretty fit and has a nice beard. You like beards."
"What are you talking about? I told you I don't care if you can't grow a beard. I love your pretty face."
"I'm just saying that he isn't too bad looking. He has probably had a few lovers in his day. I bet he knows how to please a woman."
Something in the way Kanna was talking set off alarm bells in Kiara's head.
"What the fuck is going on here?'
"We owe him a lot of money."
"I have my half of this month's rent. I'm guessing you don't?"
Kanna shook his head no.
"Fucking great! So now I'm supposed to come up with a month and half more rent? Where am I supposed to find that kind of money?" She had it stashed away for her acting career but she was loath to part with it. It was her future, her only hope to escape the drabness of her life.
"Wait, you don't have to find the money. I found a solution. I worked it out."
"How?"
"I made him a deal. An exchange."
"What kind of exchange?" Then she remembered what Suman had said. "He said he is coming back tonight... at eight. Why?" Kiara knew she wasn't going to like it but Kanna still stunned her with his answer.
"I told him he could fuck you."
Kanna said it matter-of-factually, flat and unemotionally so Kiara didn't actually comprehend what he had said at first. It might as well have been "I told him he could have a whale." It just would not compute.
"Kiara?" His voice penetrated the fog that blanketed her mind. Was this a shock?
"Did you hear what I said?"
Then the anger began. He didn't ask if she was alright, he didn't apologize, or beg forgiveness, he asked about himself.
"Kiara, answer me."
"Say it again?" she whispered.
"Say what?"
"Tell me what you told Suman."
"Don't be upset. This is the only way."
"Say it again!" This time she did yell.
"I knew you were going to get all dramatic about it."
"I am reacting the way any reasonable human being would react when informed that their lover has sold their body for RENT!"
"It's the only way!"
"You suck the old pervert off then!"
"He doesn't want me!"
"How very fucking convenient for you then isn't it!" Her anger was clear and white hot. She spoke in a fierce but quiet tone, indignant to the very core of her being. "How could you do this to me? How?!"
"This is happening to both of us. Do you think I'm happy about this?
"Yes I do. I think you have found yet one more way to use me to cushion you from the reality of your actions. You stole our rent money last month and didn't even bother to get this month's rent. And now you think you can get out of it because I love you so much I'll do anything for you? You're insane."
Yet as she trudged home in the fading heat of a summer day she felt a burgeoning hope in her breast.
For the last two years she had been secretly scrimping and saving enough money to make the move to Mumbai. She had to do it secretly because her boyfriend Kanna was a useless, although talented, writer who wasted all their money. Time and again she had been forced to spend her savings to bail them both out of some financial difficulty he had embroiled them in but at last she had enough money saved up to fulfill her dream.
Kanna was lazy and petulant. He hardly worked and Kiara had to support him with the little money she earned as a waitress at a coffee shop and the weekend shifts she put in at a bottle factory. She loved Kanna and he was gorgeous but Kiara needed more than a pretty face or an exciting lover. She needed a man who would help out financially and support her emotionally.
Kiara ignored the whistling and cat-calling men on the street trying to get her attention. As they called out to her about how beautiful she was she contemplated telling Kanna to move out of their apartment. He had not contributed to paying rent in months.
Suman, their landlord, liked Kiara. He always flirted with her even though he was old enough to be her father. Maybe he would help her out somehow. Kiara's own father was no help. He had remarried and started a new family after her mother died. Since then he never called or written and she had given up trying. Essentially Kiara was without a family.
Kiara's anger toward Kanna grew fierce as she walked on sore feet past the garage where her scooter sat waiting to be repaired. Kanna had gotten drunk and crashed it and Kiara had to choose either to pay for the repairs or postpone her journey. It sat forlorn in a locked compound behind the garage... fueling her frustration.
As she reached her block she saw reminders of all the money Kanna owed.
There was Dr. Dhatu, the man who had given Kanna antibiotics last winter and who had still not been paid for his medicine or time. Kiara waved sheepishly and the older man nodded perfunctorily, clearly not happy with the debt still pending.
There was Ilya Shamrayev, the building maintenance man who helped Kiara fix an earlier breakdown of the scooter. She owed him money for the parts. He wasn't upset at all though. Ilya had a crush on Kiara and thought she was going to be famous one day. He had come to see her in an amateur production last year and raved about it.
Kanna had missed the play. The whole week-long run of it.
Kiara gave Ilya a hug and the big man squeezed her hard and kissed both her cheeks. His warm lips lingered on her skin a bit too long for comfort but she pretended to like it and smiled sweetly at him.
Then just as she was saying goodbye to Ilya, Madhukhar came out of their building. Madhukhar was a teacher and Kiara owed him money as well. He had helped her learn English, etiquette and poise in order to play a high class woman in the play. He loved Kiara but she abhorred his boring and constant complaints about his poverty. She owed him a lot of money from various lessons he had given her.
Madhukhar saw her being kissed by Ilya and his face lit up.
"Hello Kiara!" He cried out in his false good cheer. "Not such a bad day huh?" He came down the steps of the building and wrapped himself around her in a hug that was more a dry hump. His mouth found hers and he kissed her deeply as she pressed her lips tightly together to resist his hesitantly invading tongue.
"Not a bad day. But I'm pretty beat." She said as Madhukhar squeezed her. "They ran me ragged at work today."
"I bet. It could be worse though. You could be as poor as me. Who respects a teacher? No-one? We don't matter unless someone's horrible kid flunks a class. Then we are the scourge of the land!"
"I bet none of your kids flunk Madhukar. You're too great a teacher."
Momentarily stunning Madhukhar with her rare compliment Kiara took the opportunity to wrench herself from his grasp and flee up the stairs. "I have to go in. Have a wonderful evening gentlemen."
In the dark of the stairs she ran up the three flights to her own door and rushed inside to avoid any other debtors seeing her.
And she came face to face with Suman, the landlord.
"Hello Kiara." He said.
Anxiety bloomed in the pit of her stomach. Suman never came inside the apartment. He looked nervous and guilty and so did Kanna. Something bad was happening here.
"Hello Suman, what a surprise." Kiara hugged him and kissed his cheeks but his back was less kind than usual.
"I was just having a talk with Kanna, but I must be off. I'll see you later though, I hope. Shall we say eight Kanna?"
"Yes, fine." Kanna was sulking and Kiara grew worried.
Suman left and Kiara stared at her lover watching his behavior and seeing shame and fear in every line of his body. Something very bad was happening.
"What?" Kanna snarled when he noticed Kiara staring at him.
"Was he here for this month's rent?"
"Yes. And last months."
"What? I left that on the mantel last month. It was right there. All of it! Why didn't you give it to him?"
'For God's sake Kiara I don't know what happened to it. You should have given it to him personally."
"So this is my fault? All that money disappears and I'm to blame? "
Kanna avoided her gaze.
"Look I know you took it. There are only two of us here. No-one visits because you are such a downer, so you tell me... who took it?'
"I did." He mumbled.
"For what? We need a place to live!" she tried not to scream. Any time she got emotional Kanna accused her of being a dramatic actress and refused to accept that she might just be a person entitled to be angry.
"I needed some supplies..." He murmured. "Look, I found a way to pacify Suman. He will make an exchange for the rent, both months.
"Really?" Is he going to buy your book when it comes out?" she didn't add "Whenever that is." It was too early to escalate things and she was tired of fighting day after day.
"Y'know he really likes you."
"Sure, I'm nice to him and I pay my rent on time. Usually!"
"No. I mean he finds you attractive."
"So what. Lots of men do. I can't help it. So now you're jealous of an old man?"
"So he's old. He is pretty fit and has a nice beard. You like beards."
"What are you talking about? I told you I don't care if you can't grow a beard. I love your pretty face."
"I'm just saying that he isn't too bad looking. He has probably had a few lovers in his day. I bet he knows how to please a woman."
Something in the way Kanna was talking set off alarm bells in Kiara's head.
"What the fuck is going on here?'
"We owe him a lot of money."
"I have my half of this month's rent. I'm guessing you don't?"
Kanna shook his head no.
"Fucking great! So now I'm supposed to come up with a month and half more rent? Where am I supposed to find that kind of money?" She had it stashed away for her acting career but she was loath to part with it. It was her future, her only hope to escape the drabness of her life.
"Wait, you don't have to find the money. I found a solution. I worked it out."
"How?"
"I made him a deal. An exchange."
"What kind of exchange?" Then she remembered what Suman had said. "He said he is coming back tonight... at eight. Why?" Kiara knew she wasn't going to like it but Kanna still stunned her with his answer.
"I told him he could fuck you."
Kanna said it matter-of-factually, flat and unemotionally so Kiara didn't actually comprehend what he had said at first. It might as well have been "I told him he could have a whale." It just would not compute.
"Kiara?" His voice penetrated the fog that blanketed her mind. Was this a shock?
"Did you hear what I said?"
Then the anger began. He didn't ask if she was alright, he didn't apologize, or beg forgiveness, he asked about himself.
"Kiara, answer me."
"Say it again?" she whispered.
"Say what?"
"Tell me what you told Suman."
"Don't be upset. This is the only way."
"Say it again!" This time she did yell.
"I knew you were going to get all dramatic about it."
"I am reacting the way any reasonable human being would react when informed that their lover has sold their body for RENT!"
"It's the only way!"
"You suck the old pervert off then!"
"He doesn't want me!"
"How very fucking convenient for you then isn't it!" Her anger was clear and white hot. She spoke in a fierce but quiet tone, indignant to the very core of her being. "How could you do this to me? How?!"
"This is happening to both of us. Do you think I'm happy about this?
"Yes I do. I think you have found yet one more way to use me to cushion you from the reality of your actions. You stole our rent money last month and didn't even bother to get this month's rent. And now you think you can get out of it because I love you so much I'll do anything for you? You're insane."